Are all the good men taken ? Really?

Mar 5, 2020

How many times have you heard the phrase, “All the good men are taken. Those around are either married or gay!”

This seems to be the number 1 excuse given by single women who are (a) looking at the wrong places (b) giving up without even trying to be pro-active (c) recently heart-broken women who have yet to find someone who she can share a loving, committed relationship with.

So if these single women are “looking at the wrong places”, where should you be looking to dredge out all the good men? Firstly, if you are the type who’ve been looking to find someone special at the usual places – the clubs, the bars and/or the pubs – my suggestion is look somewhere else. Unfortunately, there isn’t a “Single Man-United Club” that you can go to, to order your ideal man. If you could just order your, “Tall, hazelnut-tanned, good looking, deep pockets, generous, low-fat, smart man” don’t you think you and everyone else would be there already?

The second type of woman – the type who, based on hear-say are just subscribing to the idea without even trying to look – are dangerously pessimistic to their detriment. Just as much as women love to huddle up to talk about the peaks and valleys of relationships, it’s important not to be influenced by other women’s misfortunes. Putting your love life on hold, simply because your good friends have been emotionally bruised will not at all help you find the man of your dreams. You should not rob yourself of the experience of dating and being vulnerable just because ‘others had-it- bad’.

Sometimes, the quality of our answers in life depends very much on the quality of questions we ask. When you ask interesting questions, interesting answers could surface!  So when you take a step back and ask “Where can I find good men?” rather than “Why are all the good men taken?”, you’ll be amazed at how you’ll be led to make certain decisions or experience a serendipity that’s beyond explanation.

Finally, for the recently heart broken women who, at the spur of the moment, may have sworn-off men completely, there’s hope. Yes, acknowledge that the breakup was painful, frustrating or even embarrassing. After all, you have invested emotionally in it. Still, lessons could be drawn from that episode and you could emerge the wiser from it. Once you’ve found complete closure, have some time to think through the important, non-negotiable attributes you’re looking for in the next person. It would help if you list them down and be completely honest with yourself. Then, leave no stones unturned. Tell your closest friends, you’re single again and are looking to meet decent, wholesome men. If they have your best interests at heart, they’ll help you in your quest. But heck, there’s nothing wrong with  being single. Tell your dry cleaners, hairstylists, masseuse, Starbucks baristas, teachers, coaches, yoga instructors. Do whatever it takes to improve your odds of meeting someone new and interesting. There are still millions of single men out there and chances are, they’re also looking. So go on, ask for help… you’ll never know who you’ll meet next!